He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
