You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
