I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
