Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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