He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
did i just pee glitter
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
