Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
