I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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