im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
