What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
