Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
