They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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