ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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