I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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