I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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