Nicole vs. Life
you win again, gameday.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
