Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
