i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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