I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
