Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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