so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
