How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your penis caused this!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
