It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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