Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
