I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
