i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
