singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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