gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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