I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
