Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
