I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
