She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
