HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
