didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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