and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
