I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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