no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
