I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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