I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
