You smell like stripper and shame
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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