just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
