hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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