3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
40s are totally the cure
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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