Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
