Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She announced her abortion via fbk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
