What a fucking waste of an outfit
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
