Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
