Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
