It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
