College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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