i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The Olympian is in my bed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
