But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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