just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
