wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
