Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
