omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
